I wish I had a camera for this one.
One Sunday morning at work, I get dispatched to a male sick in the park. Nothing too complicated, I think. I hop in my responder vehicle and mosey on down to the parks’ camping ground.
Bystanders direct me to a big blue tent surrounded by police cars, not exactly what I’m used to seeing but not impossible. I park near the tent, grab my medic bag and walk over to an officer standing near the tent. He tells me that the guy in the tent is sick and needs to be brought to the hospital.
“So, what’s wrong with him?” I ask, as I approach the tent’s opening.
“Well, He’s high on something. We don’t know exactly what, but he has needles in there and wont come out.”
I stop dead in my tracks, put my body into reverse and moonwalk away from the tent. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
“He has been doing drugs all day and now he refuses to come out of the tent. When we tried going in to get him, he swung a needle at us.”
“Ok, so I’m going to stand here and let you guys get him out for me.” I said as I was backing up further from the tent.
With that the police try again to talk this guy out of his nylon fortress.
“FUCK YOU! I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!” The guy screams from behind his aero bed. One officer then walks over to his car, which is housing a very excited and angry German Shepard. He grabs the dog’s leash and starts walking towards the flap of the tent.
Never in my life have I heard a dog bark like this. Never have I heard a dog so excited to bite somebody’s ass, like how this dog was barking.
I backed up another two feet. Saliva was foaming from the dogs’ mouth. He wanted to be in that tent so bad he could taste the saltiness of the perps arm. It took all of the officers’ strength to hold the dog back. They warn him again to come out of the tent, or the dog will be dragging him out.
If you were about to become face to face with a 150lb angry and probably hungry wolf/dog, would your reply to the officer’s bargain be, “ FUCK YOU AND YOUR DOG!”
That wouldn’t be my first choice of words but that’s what he went with. He must have felt like a king, in his mighty castle built of synthetic materials.
Again, they warned him. Same reply. Just as the officer was going to let his grip on the leash loosen, another officer comes to the flap with his taser gun in his hand. Last warning. Come out of the tent or your going to be tased.
Just get out of the tent you idiot! I thought to myself. Your kingdom is about to come crashing down around you, just come out of the stupid tent.
“Come out of the tent or you will be tased again!”
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ok, ok stop please!”
My eyes bulged. I couldn’t process what was happening. This had to be the most insane thing I have every got to witness while on the job. He ended up coming out after the second shock. He told us his story of how he ended up high in a tent. We transported him to the local hospital for substance abuse and 4 puncture wounds.
In his defense, he was quite polite and cooperative while at the hospital. He later described what it felt like to be tased. He described it as being as if someone took a ballpoint hammer, and smacked it to his chest as hard as they possibly could. Twice.
The moral of the story kids, when you’re high in a tent, don’t get tased by the police.