Open A Champagne Bottle with a Knife
Since throwing a back-yard formal with all my friends in black-tie formal wear is damn near impossible, I took advantage of my birthday BBQ this past weekend and decided to class it up a bit with some champagne.
The reasoning behind learning to “Sabrage” is pretty simple. It’s flashy, mildly dangerous and super classy and needless to say, the chicks dig it. It’s quite impressive if you pull it off and incredibly embarrassing if you injure yourself or others if it goes wrong. It might be the coolest thing the French have given us since the invention of French kissing.
I will admit I felt like P. Diddy (or Puff Daddy, or Puffy whatever the fuck he calls himself) popping out some bubbly at the party. It was pretty Thug Life.
Enjoy the video and pictures.
Kit and I enjoying alittle Cristal
Curaçao was an early addition to my list. I don’t know why, I don’t ever remember anyone talking about it, magazine generally don’t rave about the island. I guess I added visiting it just out of curiosity. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know where in the Caribbean it was. It just sounded so foreign and like a place I would never visit, same as Iceland. But, we all know now how I deal with places I never imagine I would travel to… I travel to them.
Curaçao, took all of about 10 minutes to grow on me. Just about as soon as we pulled away from Hato International Airport, did I come to really like this place. From that moment on the rest of the trip was just a confirmation of my good feelings towards the island.
I present to you now, what I had learned during my time in Curaçao…
- To make the Ç hold down option(mac) or alt (pc) while typing C.
- The Ç is called a cedilla (Wikipedia article on it)
- For all intents and purposes, Curaçao is a Spanish-speaking country
- You can get stranded on a bridge
- Scuba Diving Magazine loves Curaçao cause the reefs are flawless
- 8 oz Polar beer is a rip-off (Thanks for nothing Hugo Chavez)
- Infinity Salt water pool = Awesome!
- Danki means thank you in Papiamento (Pronounced = Donkey)
- You can get a job as a Bridge Boat Driver
- I love Arepitas
- Iguanas are to Curaçao what squirrels are to North America
- When jumping off a 40 ft cliff always try to land feet first ( Kit’s lesson)
- 15% Service charge on restaurants tabs, means at some places you will have to double tip
- Casinos are very depressing when there are no loud sounds of machines winning
Some other photos from the trip
The inner caveman in me spoke out when I added Have a bon fire on the beach to the list. Actually, it was because of a scene from Police Academy which included the notorious Blue Oyster Bar… Here is the video incase you needed reminding.
In almost the exact fashion as our boys in blue from police academy, my bonfire went just about the same way minus, the naked women, saxophone, crowd of people and being that Kit and I were in Montauk, the black guy. Minus all those things, it was exactly the same.
Danny’s Guide to a successful Beach Bonfire… The Guide.
Step 1) Pick a beach
Step 2) Gather all materials needed for creating fire. Most survival experts say get a couple of stones, or a bow made of wood and tinder to light. I say, hogwash. Duraflame and a lighter. Added benefit to the Duraflame, you can purchase one that imitates the sound of real wood burning, or if you are feeling artistic or autistic they also have a special log that emits festive colors while burning.
Step 3) Light it up, Drink it up and enjoy.
(Traveling Duck optional)
After an exciting 18 holes last Saturday night, Kit can no longer claim that I never beat her in mini-golf. I must have had Tiger woods, or Happy Gilmore looking after me, cause I kicked her ass! This item is being crossed off again. I felt like Roger Maris tainted with an asterisk next to the list item for all this time. And before you anyone can make accusations, I did beat her without the use of performance enhancing drugs! Take that Barry Bonds!
Notice the perfect form, like a white-r Tiger Woods.
Finding my happy place…
Kit right before she hit par, unlike all the other holes.
And the final score…
The face of the loser…
And the face of the Winner…
My Caddyshack ending…